Area families adopt children from same Chinese city
Shaling & two of her basketball buddies:
Josh & Jimmy with their brother Jay & their dad:
This blog began as a place to share Shaling's journey from rice in China to popcorn in Illinois. However, it has evolved to include all sorts of happenings in the Reynolds family.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Newspaper Story
Shaling & two of her foster brothers from China made the Springfield newspaper (State Journal-Register):
Area families adopt children from same Chinese city
Shaling & two of her basketball buddies:
Josh & Jimmy with their brother Jay & their dad:
Area families adopt children from same Chinese city
Shaling & two of her basketball buddies:
Josh & Jimmy with their brother Jay & their dad:
Friday, February 24, 2012
This precious little boy is in dire need of heart surgery A.S.A.P.:
If you've ever considered adoption & you have medical insurance, you are a great candidate to be his family.
My friend Sonia adopted these two boys from LongGang (the same district as Shaling). The one on the right had his heart repaired PRIOR to adoption:
Roughly 7 (yes, SEVEN) months later, she adopted this guy (Joshua):
He looks pretty great, doesn't he? He didn't always look so great. He had a serious heart issue & had basically been sentenced to death, as his orphanage didn't have the money, nor the optimistic diagnosis to pursue repair. Sonia & her husband took a giant leap of faith that they could get better results here in America. They brought him home, where he went straight into the hospital for a 3-week stay. Here is a "Before" picture & a "During" picture of Joshua:
If you are interested in learning more, please go to Sonia's blog for more information.
Finally, here is a picture of all 3 boys:
If you've ever considered adoption & you have medical insurance, you are a great candidate to be his family.
My friend Sonia adopted these two boys from LongGang (the same district as Shaling). The one on the right had his heart repaired PRIOR to adoption:
Roughly 7 (yes, SEVEN) months later, she adopted this guy (Joshua):
He looks pretty great, doesn't he? He didn't always look so great. He had a serious heart issue & had basically been sentenced to death, as his orphanage didn't have the money, nor the optimistic diagnosis to pursue repair. Sonia & her husband took a giant leap of faith that they could get better results here in America. They brought him home, where he went straight into the hospital for a 3-week stay. Here is a "Before" picture & a "During" picture of Joshua:
If you are interested in learning more, please go to Sonia's blog for more information.
Finally, here is a picture of all 3 boys:
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Dad Charges Too Steep of a Price
For awhile now, Brock has wanted to take the kids to see an artist "of their generation". Shaling has never been to a concert. Preston has seen dad's favorite singer, Bruce Springsteen, as well as one of my favorites, Trace Adkins. He has also seen a few acts at the state fair, but never one that is like popular with the current school crowd.
So, this week, Brock began trying to win a pair of tickets to see Kelly Clarkson in Champaign this Saturday night. He finally got through Tuesday afternoon and won! We are going to purchase another pair of tickets so we can take both kids. However, Brock was teasing Shaling a bit Tuesday night.
He told her what he'd won and she got excited, talking about how much she wanted to go. He told her that there were only 2 tickets and maybe he'd take Preston. She begged him, "no, no, please. I want to go; I want to go!"
At that point, Brock said that perhaps he'd take which kid was nicer to him this week. She somberly replied, "I no go with you."
***
This is perhaps something a lady shouldn't share publicly, but not many people have excused me of being a lady anyway. The truth is, I drink a lot of diet soda. Diet soda happens to be carbonated (like most soda). That carbonation would prefer NOT to stay in my body. Therefore, I tend to expel that carbonation.
A couple of Saturdays ago, I had Shaling & her friend Katie in my car on the way to meet my cousin Joanna, her husband Mike, & her daughter Maggie at a restaurant. I was quickly swigging a diet soda in the car. I decided that with it just being me & the girls in the car, I didn't need to hold back, so I burped rather loudly. Shaling gave me a mock "Maaawwwm!" I teased her about there being a mouse in the front seat with me. Well, at the restaurant (which happened to be a Chinese buffet), while I was up getting a plate of food, she wasbeing a brat sweetly telling everyone at the table just how I had farted in the car.
I'm thinking there is still a bit of a language barrier there.
***
Here is a current basketball video (from last Saturday, 2-18-2012):
So, this week, Brock began trying to win a pair of tickets to see Kelly Clarkson in Champaign this Saturday night. He finally got through Tuesday afternoon and won! We are going to purchase another pair of tickets so we can take both kids. However, Brock was teasing Shaling a bit Tuesday night.
He told her what he'd won and she got excited, talking about how much she wanted to go. He told her that there were only 2 tickets and maybe he'd take Preston. She begged him, "no, no, please. I want to go; I want to go!"
At that point, Brock said that perhaps he'd take which kid was nicer to him this week. She somberly replied, "I no go with you."
***
This is perhaps something a lady shouldn't share publicly, but not many people have excused me of being a lady anyway. The truth is, I drink a lot of diet soda. Diet soda happens to be carbonated (like most soda). That carbonation would prefer NOT to stay in my body. Therefore, I tend to expel that carbonation.
A couple of Saturdays ago, I had Shaling & her friend Katie in my car on the way to meet my cousin Joanna, her husband Mike, & her daughter Maggie at a restaurant. I was quickly swigging a diet soda in the car. I decided that with it just being me & the girls in the car, I didn't need to hold back, so I burped rather loudly. Shaling gave me a mock "Maaawwwm!" I teased her about there being a mouse in the front seat with me. Well, at the restaurant (which happened to be a Chinese buffet), while I was up getting a plate of food, she was
I'm thinking there is still a bit of a language barrier there.
***
Here is a current basketball video (from last Saturday, 2-18-2012):
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Awkward Adoption Comments
Several of my Facebook friends recently shared a link to 10 Things Not to Say to Adoptive Parents (Especially in Front of Their Kids). I found it to be an entertaining and valuable read, but I also found it to be too sarcastic for my comfort level. Oh, I love sarcasm...my whole family treats sarcasm as an art form. I just don't find sarcasm to be an approriate method to use when trying to educate others on sensitive and important issues, especially when those we are educating are typically well-intentioned.
I am going to run through some of the topics that Tracy Hahn-Burkett (the author) discusses, but with my own "spin". I tend to be very approachable. I am especially approachable on the topic of adoption, as I consider myself to be somewhat of an advocate of older child adoption. Therefore, I work very hard to remind myself that I was once ignorant on this topic as well...that much of what seems like obvious common sense to me really isn't all that commonly known.
1: "Do you have any children of your own?"
I fully endorse Hahn-Burkett's response to this one. "My children are my own — both of them. Yes, I know what you mean. And I repeat: Both of my children are my own." I tend to brush this one aside, knowing full well that the person asking the question doesn't mean any harm. However, the truth is that it IS harmful, especially if asked in front of either of my kids. If you are curious as to how I got my kids, asking if I have any biological children would be far more appropriate.
2: "I couldn't do it."
Yes, you could! Brock & I are not a level above anyone else. We are certainly not going to be nominated for sainthood. And we are far from being featured in any parenting magazine. If folks as common as us are capable of loving and raising a child, then I know there are hundreds of thousands (if not millions) more out there that are just as capable.
3: "She's so lucky."
I confess. Brock & I both loathe this one. Maybe loathe is too strong of a word, but I know I have to take a silent deep breath and show restraint. And I know Brock has shared feeling the same way with me. Oh, we're not stupid. We know Shaling is fortunate to have a family, but so is Preston, yet no one seems to imply that he should have an overwhelming sense of gratefulness about it. In fact, depending on your point of view, Preston may be luckier than Shaling. Shaling has had to deal with relearning everything she had been taught for 9 years -- her language, her culture, new foods, friends, etc. Her life story will always begin with the loss of family. We love her so much, but we cannot erase that. Furthermore, we aren't being facetious when we respond that we are the lucky ones. She comes with some parenting challenges, but those pale in comparison to the love, joy, and pride she has given us. In the same way, Preston has his own set of parenting challenges, but we are so fortunate to have this sweet, wonderful boy in our lives.
4: "What kind of mother would give up a child?"
While I realize that for most of of us it is unfathomable to consider giving up a birth child, it is important to understand that when you ask this question in front of Shaling, you are criticizing the very woman who gave her life and whose heredity will remain a part of her forever. The cold, hard truth is that a woman that would do this probably made the most heart-wrenching, self-less decision she ever had to make in her entire life. This was not just a casual, "oh, I think I'll drop my kid off at the bus station" sort of thing. She was probably a wonderful person with a pitifully poor economic lot in life that feared she could not provide any sort of healthy life for her daughter. Think about how desperate she must have been to suspect that her daughter was better off with strangers. If there were any possible way for me to find her and let her know how much Shaling is loved, how smart she is, how beautiful she has become, etc., I would do it in a heartbeat.
5: "Why go to China? Why not adopt a kid from America?"
My skin bristles as I am made to feel defensive...as if I am unpatriotic or something. Our personal story is that we actually pursued a few domestic adoptions and hit dead ends. We never set out to adopt internationally. We actually wondered if we were simply meant to be a family of 3. Then, due to my being included in a mass email about a severed adoption of an unrelated child, I was asked if we would consider adopting an 8-year-old girl from China. Voilà! We were on our way to getting Shaling. I don't mean to get too preachy, but God doesn't have borders. Whether you believe it was God calling us, fate, or something else, we were meant to be Shaling's family. Since when did it matter from which country an orphan in need of a family came? Finally, there are certain pluses & minuses when comparing international and domestic adoptions. Anyone considering adoption should read up on the requirements, costs, and experiences of both before making a decision that will best fit them.
6: "How much did she cost?"
Not one red cent. Shaling didn't cost us a thing, just as there was no price tag associated with Preston at the hospital. Now, the process of adoption came with some mighty hefty fees, just as mine & Preston's medical care did. If you are truly pursuing adoption, I will be thrilled to share with you a spreadsheet I kept of all of our expenses. I will tell you up front that the heftiest of the costs were the travel, the orphanage fee, & paperwork processing fees. And yet, added up, those costs don't come close to touching how much we would have spent in child care, food, clothes, medical care, etc., if we had had Shaling in our own care those first 9 years of her life. We were very fortunate to have generous friends & family members that helped us out as we did some fundraising to put a dent in our adoption costs. We also had fortunate timing in that we adopted at a time when we were able to claim a sizable adoption credit on our federal tax return.
I am going to run through some of the topics that Tracy Hahn-Burkett (the author) discusses, but with my own "spin". I tend to be very approachable. I am especially approachable on the topic of adoption, as I consider myself to be somewhat of an advocate of older child adoption. Therefore, I work very hard to remind myself that I was once ignorant on this topic as well...that much of what seems like obvious common sense to me really isn't all that commonly known.
1: "Do you have any children of your own?"
I fully endorse Hahn-Burkett's response to this one. "My children are my own — both of them. Yes, I know what you mean. And I repeat: Both of my children are my own." I tend to brush this one aside, knowing full well that the person asking the question doesn't mean any harm. However, the truth is that it IS harmful, especially if asked in front of either of my kids. If you are curious as to how I got my kids, asking if I have any biological children would be far more appropriate.
2: "I couldn't do it."
Yes, you could! Brock & I are not a level above anyone else. We are certainly not going to be nominated for sainthood. And we are far from being featured in any parenting magazine. If folks as common as us are capable of loving and raising a child, then I know there are hundreds of thousands (if not millions) more out there that are just as capable.
3: "She's so lucky."
I confess. Brock & I both loathe this one. Maybe loathe is too strong of a word, but I know I have to take a silent deep breath and show restraint. And I know Brock has shared feeling the same way with me. Oh, we're not stupid. We know Shaling is fortunate to have a family, but so is Preston, yet no one seems to imply that he should have an overwhelming sense of gratefulness about it. In fact, depending on your point of view, Preston may be luckier than Shaling. Shaling has had to deal with relearning everything she had been taught for 9 years -- her language, her culture, new foods, friends, etc. Her life story will always begin with the loss of family. We love her so much, but we cannot erase that. Furthermore, we aren't being facetious when we respond that we are the lucky ones. She comes with some parenting challenges, but those pale in comparison to the love, joy, and pride she has given us. In the same way, Preston has his own set of parenting challenges, but we are so fortunate to have this sweet, wonderful boy in our lives.
4: "What kind of mother would give up a child?"
While I realize that for most of of us it is unfathomable to consider giving up a birth child, it is important to understand that when you ask this question in front of Shaling, you are criticizing the very woman who gave her life and whose heredity will remain a part of her forever. The cold, hard truth is that a woman that would do this probably made the most heart-wrenching, self-less decision she ever had to make in her entire life. This was not just a casual, "oh, I think I'll drop my kid off at the bus station" sort of thing. She was probably a wonderful person with a pitifully poor economic lot in life that feared she could not provide any sort of healthy life for her daughter. Think about how desperate she must have been to suspect that her daughter was better off with strangers. If there were any possible way for me to find her and let her know how much Shaling is loved, how smart she is, how beautiful she has become, etc., I would do it in a heartbeat.
5: "Why go to China? Why not adopt a kid from America?"
My skin bristles as I am made to feel defensive...as if I am unpatriotic or something. Our personal story is that we actually pursued a few domestic adoptions and hit dead ends. We never set out to adopt internationally. We actually wondered if we were simply meant to be a family of 3. Then, due to my being included in a mass email about a severed adoption of an unrelated child, I was asked if we would consider adopting an 8-year-old girl from China. Voilà! We were on our way to getting Shaling. I don't mean to get too preachy, but God doesn't have borders. Whether you believe it was God calling us, fate, or something else, we were meant to be Shaling's family. Since when did it matter from which country an orphan in need of a family came? Finally, there are certain pluses & minuses when comparing international and domestic adoptions. Anyone considering adoption should read up on the requirements, costs, and experiences of both before making a decision that will best fit them.
6: "How much did she cost?"
Not one red cent. Shaling didn't cost us a thing, just as there was no price tag associated with Preston at the hospital. Now, the process of adoption came with some mighty hefty fees, just as mine & Preston's medical care did. If you are truly pursuing adoption, I will be thrilled to share with you a spreadsheet I kept of all of our expenses. I will tell you up front that the heftiest of the costs were the travel, the orphanage fee, & paperwork processing fees. And yet, added up, those costs don't come close to touching how much we would have spent in child care, food, clothes, medical care, etc., if we had had Shaling in our own care those first 9 years of her life. We were very fortunate to have generous friends & family members that helped us out as we did some fundraising to put a dent in our adoption costs. We also had fortunate timing in that we adopted at a time when we were able to claim a sizable adoption credit on our federal tax return.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Chinese New Year & Reindeer?
2012 is the Year of the Dragon. Preston was born in the last Year of the Dragon (2000). Shaling was born in the Year of the Snake. Due to the fact that Chinese Years don't start & end on January 1 & December 31, Brock & I were both born in the Year the Dog (Feb 6, 1970 – Jan 26, 1971).
We were supposed to attend a local Chinese New Year celebration this past Saturday, but it was cancelled. Brock & the kids joined several other families with Chinese children for dinner at a Chinese buffet though. I skipped out because I coached at an all day Scholastic Bowl tournament that day, then participated in a trivia night fundraiser for a woman in need of a new liver.
After dinner, Shaling went home with XinLi, who was adopted by Curt & Susan in August. She spent the night with her and went to church with the family the next morning. Curt & Susan live a bit out in the country and on our way home from picking Shaling up, we saw some deer sprinting across a field. I excitedly pointed them out to the kids. Shaling kept asking if they were flying and I told her no, that they just run really fast. Then it dawned on me...she was thinking of reindeer. As I mentioned that thought to Brock, she confirmed it by saying, "fly...like Santa". I told her that they weren't reindeer; they were just deer. Then she muttered, "I want to see reindeer."
Here are some pictures taken by Andrea Dillon last February. They are Shaling in a traditional Chinese outfit. We should have taken some updated ones this year, but neglected to do so, therefore year-old ones will have to do for now.
We were supposed to attend a local Chinese New Year celebration this past Saturday, but it was cancelled. Brock & the kids joined several other families with Chinese children for dinner at a Chinese buffet though. I skipped out because I coached at an all day Scholastic Bowl tournament that day, then participated in a trivia night fundraiser for a woman in need of a new liver.
After dinner, Shaling went home with XinLi, who was adopted by Curt & Susan in August. She spent the night with her and went to church with the family the next morning. Curt & Susan live a bit out in the country and on our way home from picking Shaling up, we saw some deer sprinting across a field. I excitedly pointed them out to the kids. Shaling kept asking if they were flying and I told her no, that they just run really fast. Then it dawned on me...she was thinking of reindeer. As I mentioned that thought to Brock, she confirmed it by saying, "fly...like Santa". I told her that they weren't reindeer; they were just deer. Then she muttered, "I want to see reindeer."
Here are some pictures taken by Andrea Dillon last February. They are Shaling in a traditional Chinese outfit. We should have taken some updated ones this year, but neglected to do so, therefore year-old ones will have to do for now.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Celebrating One Year As An American Citizen
Exactly one year ago today, in an immigration office at O'Hare International Airport in Chicago, Shaling became a U.S. Citizen. Though she had no idea what was happening (due to the language barrier & lack of a translator), she signed two documents & gave her fingerprints, and voila, just like magic, she was an American.
Because she lived in a very tropical area of China (even further south than the southern tip of Florida), she'd never seen snow. However, there was plenty waiting for her on the ground here in Springfield that night. She reached out and touched, reacting with a "Brrrrr". Because we had sent her a picture of the house, she recognized it before we ever pulled in the driveway.
We were simultaneously exhausted/jetlagged/sleep deprived & beside ourselves with excitement about our new beginnings as a family of 4. I can't believe it's been a whole year, and yet when I look at how far she's come learning a new culture, language, etc., it amazes me. What a roller coaster of a year it has been.
Because she lived in a very tropical area of China (even further south than the southern tip of Florida), she'd never seen snow. However, there was plenty waiting for her on the ground here in Springfield that night. She reached out and touched, reacting with a "Brrrrr". Because we had sent her a picture of the house, she recognized it before we ever pulled in the driveway.
We were simultaneously exhausted/jetlagged/sleep deprived & beside ourselves with excitement about our new beginnings as a family of 4. I can't believe it's been a whole year, and yet when I look at how far she's come learning a new culture, language, etc., it amazes me. What a roller coaster of a year it has been.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Christmas Break
Wow...I've been so busy enjoying Christmas & New Years that I have been completely remiss in keeping up with my blog. Shaling's first Christmas in America was spread out over several days & several houses. On Christmas Eve, we spent the day at Grandma & Grandpa Barkley's house and the evening at Great Grandma Coonrod's house. Christmas morning, we opened packages together at home and then went to Grandma & Grandpa Coonrod's house, followed by a trip to Aunt Ann & Uncle Frank's house. Then, on Thursday the 29th, we went back to Grandma & Grandpa Coonrod's house because Uncle Scott & Aunt Barbara couldn't make it for Christmas.
I had to accept the cold, hard fact that I will not be receiving the 2011 Mother of the Year award. Shaling was visibly disappointed on Christmas Day when Santa didn't come. I signed all of the packages from Mom & Dad. I honestly hadn't given it a thought, because she figured out the tooth fairy the very first night she lost a tooth at home (and that was back when the language barrier was HUGE). I didn't realize Santa was still real. Yes, I am properly shamed for screwing that up.
The kids spent the nights of the 25th & 26th with Grandma & Grandpa Coonrod. They were supposed to spend the 29th with Grandma & Grandpa Barkley, but I screwed that up too, by scheduling a playdate on the 30th. It was going to be a major challenge to get them home from Carlinville on time for that playdate. So, we currently have it planned for them to stay there on the 15th of January.
We spent New Years Eve at a fantastically fun house party, where the adults sat around playing board games and the kids watched movies, played video games, and lit sparklers when the ball dropped in New York. Through it all, Shaling has had some basketball practices, Dad has watched a lot of football, Preston has been building some complicated Lego sets, and I've done some trivia and movie nights.
Life has started getting back into a routine today, but will progress that way even more so tomorrow, when the kids return to school. As I posted about in an earlier blog entry, we celebrated the one-year anniversary of "Gotcha Day" on the 27th of December. On January 7th, we'll celebrate one year of Shaling being home in the United States.
Here are some random pictures of our 2011 Christmas.
Grandma & Grandpa Barkley's house
Great Grandma Coonrod's house
Home
Grandma & Grandpa Coonrod's house
P.S. Exactly one year ago today, we went on a dinner cruise down the Pearl River. You can read about it (and see a picture of Shaling eating chicken feet) here.
I had to accept the cold, hard fact that I will not be receiving the 2011 Mother of the Year award. Shaling was visibly disappointed on Christmas Day when Santa didn't come. I signed all of the packages from Mom & Dad. I honestly hadn't given it a thought, because she figured out the tooth fairy the very first night she lost a tooth at home (and that was back when the language barrier was HUGE). I didn't realize Santa was still real. Yes, I am properly shamed for screwing that up.
The kids spent the nights of the 25th & 26th with Grandma & Grandpa Coonrod. They were supposed to spend the 29th with Grandma & Grandpa Barkley, but I screwed that up too, by scheduling a playdate on the 30th. It was going to be a major challenge to get them home from Carlinville on time for that playdate. So, we currently have it planned for them to stay there on the 15th of January.
We spent New Years Eve at a fantastically fun house party, where the adults sat around playing board games and the kids watched movies, played video games, and lit sparklers when the ball dropped in New York. Through it all, Shaling has had some basketball practices, Dad has watched a lot of football, Preston has been building some complicated Lego sets, and I've done some trivia and movie nights.
Life has started getting back into a routine today, but will progress that way even more so tomorrow, when the kids return to school. As I posted about in an earlier blog entry, we celebrated the one-year anniversary of "Gotcha Day" on the 27th of December. On January 7th, we'll celebrate one year of Shaling being home in the United States.
Here are some random pictures of our 2011 Christmas.
Grandma & Grandpa Barkley's house
Great Grandma Coonrod's house
Home
Grandma & Grandpa Coonrod's house
P.S. Exactly one year ago today, we went on a dinner cruise down the Pearl River. You can read about it (and see a picture of Shaling eating chicken feet) here.
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