Trust

A few days ago, I took the kids to Wal-Mart to purchase some snacks for the car ride to Florida. Preston wanted to eat supper at the McDonald's inside of Wal-Mart (I've let him do this several times while I shopped). I took him to the counter, ordered & paid, then handed him our "house phone" -- we dropped our land line a couple of years ago, but transferred the number to a cell phone. I told him to call us when he finished eating.

Shaling & I completed our shopping, but he hadn't called yet. I couldn't take the cart to McDonald's, or I'd risk someone thinking I was trying to walk out without paying. So, I put Shaling with the cart next to a specialty display in the main aisle. Then, I told her to stay there and I would be right back. I went to McDonald's to prod Preston to hurry up and came back.

Now, you might say, "what's the big deal?" Doesn't sound like anything went wrong and both kids were fine.

THAT is exactly the big deal to me...this little girl, who has only known her Mom & Dad for just over two months, already has enough faith & trust in us to know that I was not abandoning her...to know that I was going to come back. Despite being in a gigantic store surrounded by lots of people, none of whom spoke Chinese, she didn't hesitate for a second when I asked her to stay there and I'd be right back. She smiled and said "ok." When I rounded the corner to return to her, she was checking out a t-shirt display, not the least bit worried.

I cannot overstate enough what a powerful emotion that evoked in me.

Mom vs. "Chinese" Mom; Dad vs. "Chinese" Dad

Lately, Shaling has been telling us all about the differences between her Chinese parents and us. Using gestures, she told me last night that her Chinese mom was skinny, not big and that her Chinese dad was small not big. For those who may not remember, when she first spotted our wedding photo upon arrival home in January, she made it clear that Mom & Dad aren't quite the same size as they were 17 years ago.

Based on her descriptions, I believe she is referring to her life at the simulated family home (which is an extension of the orphanage), but she may be referring to a foster family. I won't know for sure until her English gets a bit better. I suspect this because she told us she had 6 brothers and 3 sisters. We know that roughly 10 kids were assigned to each simulated family home and I suspect that foster families in China don't typically have 10 kids at a time (though it is possible).

She has also pointed out that she didn't attend church in China, that she got to sleep with other children in China (she doesn't like sleeping by herself at all), and various other differences. Most of the time, she is not complaining (or trying to be derogatory with the weight references). She is merely verbalizing her observations.

She still seems quite happy. She loves her volleyball group. She is requesting certain CDs/songs when we're in the car. She is spontaneously hugging us more and more often. Since last weekend, she has been counting down the days until this Friday when we leave for Florida. She is excited about visiting Grandma & Grandpa Reynolds.

Speaking of travels, Brock ventured to Mokena with both kids by himself this past weekend. It's just under 3 hours each way. They visited his brother's family (Uncle Scott, Aunt Michelle, Cooper & Chase) and delivered our nephews' birthday presents. They all survived, but I heard a harrowing tale of poor Shaling being forced to wear one of her brother's Cubs shirts. I really had to sanitize her upon return.

All in all, things feel more "normal" all of the time. Both kids have their challenging momemts, both with us and with each other. They tattle on each other, but then seem sympathetic when the other gets in trouble. Oh, the stupid stuff they fight about...like which side of the car they ride on...Ugh. I'm certain I wasn't that difficult as a child (he-he).

In February, we had a family photo shoot with Andrea Dillon of Written Light Photography. If you are on Facebook, check out some of her other work: Written Light Photography. We were very pleased. We also had several individual shots of Shaling and some sibling photos (which were perhaps my favorites) taken. Besides the numerous photos I ordered, I also bought the CD of proofs (and copyright), so I'm going to share an assortment (21 of the 48 shots) here:

Time to see an E.N.T.

Shaling has had ear infection after ear infection since getting home. She's about to be on her third antibiotic (and yes, as you might recall, we've only been home 8 short weeks). She saw our family doctor this morning (she probably thinks he's family by now) and he said she also has a small infection in her mouth where she lost her tooth. He also says there is so much fluid in her right ear that there is no possible way she's hearing anything out of it.

So, off we go to see an ear, nose & throat specialist. The really cool part is that this specialist is Chinese. He is bilingual. Shaling will definitely be able to convey what she's feeling (or not hearing). The first available appointment is March 21.

That would be great.

Except.

Shaling will be in Florida.

That is right smack dab in the middle of our spring break. We take off on Friday, March 18 to drive (yes, drive...did I mention I might need a psych exam) to Marco Island, Florida to visit Grandma & Grandpa Reynolds, returning on the 27th. We typically fly, but air fare is horrendous right now. I can't find flights to Florida (at least not to Fort Myers, where we would need to fly into) for less than about $800.

Per. Person.

So, we plan to make this 1250 mile (each. way.) trip via Honda Civic.

With
two
kids!

Even paying $4/gallon for gas, it's far more affordable...and hey, our destination is heaven on earth, so it will all be worth it, right?

When we return to reality, we'll see Dr. Xinyan Huang on Tuesday, March 29. Here is a link to some information about him: http://www.springfieldclinic.com/ForPatients/ProviderProfile.aspx?PhysicianID=277

Hodge Podge Update

Shaling started volleyball this week with the local youth athletic association. She loves it! This morning she was asking me “volleyball?” I had to tell her not today. A large group of girls there immediately took her under their wing. They know her from school and recognize when she doesn’t understand the coach’s instructions. They’re quick to gesture to her what she should do and where she should go.

Her English is coming along well. In fact, I am just going to cut & paste my husband’s last Facebook status on this subject:

Shaling's English continues to improve in such small increments each day that I usually don't even notice. Tonight I did notice when Preston had a little coughing fit she proceeded to ask, "Preston, are you okay?" A rare complete sentence. The progress is amazing. I can't wait to see what she sounds like in another 2 months.

She is starting to accept that we aren’t going to eat out at Chinese restaurants every day. We are doing better at making sure she has a variety of fruits to choose from here at home.

This morning, I’m going to spoil her a little bit – I’m going to take her in for her first pedicure (I didn’t have one until I was 39-years-old). It’s going to be 3-generational maternal outing: Grandma-Mom-Shaling. I had her put on shorts and sweat pants for this…that is when she thought she was going to volleyball.

Wish her luck next week as she has to take her first standardized tests here in America - the ISATs here in Illinois.

Chinese School, Battle of Wills & the Tooth Fairy

Shaling's English Language Learner teacher gave us a heads up on a church in Springfield those holds "Chinese School" on Sunday afternoons. She encouraged us to find a way for Shaling to expand her language knowledge in her native tongue. After emailing the church, we were invited to stop by on a Sunday afternoon to find out more about the program.

Brock & Shaling stopped by there yesterday. Shaling interacted with several people of her Chinese heritage. After talking to her in Mandarin, they informed Brock that Shaling is too advanced to obtain any benefit from their program. In fact, they informed him that she is able to write Chinese characters and use Chinese words that would be rare for a child of her age to know.

We've been told by many people that she is bright, starting with the caregivers at her orphanage, continuing with our guide Connie in China, etc. It's apparent by how quickly she learning English that she is bright as well. However, this was pretty amazing to be told by native Chinese speakers that her Chinese mastery is far above even their expectations.

Shaling is slowly coming out of the honeymoon period and/or becoming comfortable enough that she is testing just how much power she has over decisions we make. She repeatedly told us "Shaling, no eat" when we went to the Godfather's Buffet following church yesterday. She made it clear that she wanted us to go to a Chinese restaurant. We think we've been taking her to Chinese restaurants too often. The list of foods she is willing to eat has actually decreased, rather than increased.

We put a slice of pizza and 5 meatballs on her plate. I knew she would like the meatballs, but probably not the pizza. We just wanted her to try it. She was refusing to eat any of it. "Shaling, no eat!" Brock told her she had to have 3 bites of each (the pizza & the meatballs). She sat there stubbornly and let the tears flow. We chose not to make a scene and just continued eating. Brock eventually reminded her that:

No eat.

No tv.

No DSi.

No bicycle.

She still sat there, so we continued eating and talking. When Brock got up to go get another plate of food, Shaling stood up and walked over to another table, refusing to even sit at our table. After sternly telling her twice to sit down to no avail, I got up and firmly put her in her seat...oh, was she livid! As I walked back over to my seat, she popped right back up. I turned and glared at her, commanding her to sit down, which she quickly did, but shed some more tears.

After Preston, Brock, & I were done eating, we starting to grab our jackets to go. At this point, Shaling decided she'd go ahead and eat. She quickly ate all 5 meatballs, showing us the thumbs up sign and telling us they were good. However, after one bite of pizza, we got a thumbs down sign and a look of disgust. Figuring she'd had 6 bites, even if they weren't the exact 6 bites we requested, we told her she didn't have to eat anymore. She tumbled into the bathroom, where I followed. She was again her smiling, happy self. When we came out, she grabbed another plate and walked up to the buffet, but ultimately decided nothing looked appealing to her.

Last Monday, Brock & I both noticed a couple of loose teeth in Shaling's mouth. One in particular looked as if it might fall out THAT day. She wouldn't let us touch it or go anywhere near it. Brock tried to explain that concept of the tooth fairy to her. However, she looked at him like he was nuts and then asked me, "Mom, Dad - tooth, pillow, money?" I think she was stunned to hear me confirm such nonsense.

That tooth finally fell out on it's own. Yesterday. I was surprised it took so long. So, the tooth fairy came for the tooth and left $2 under Shaling's pillow. I'm impressed with the tooth fairy's flying skills that she was able to navigate through that wind & thunderstorm that hit last night. Shaling found the money during the night and came into our room to show it to me...still seeming quite confused as to how that worked.

Daddy Is Grounded

So, last week, Shaling was grounded one evening. She had been especially defiant at breakfast that morning, refusing to eat her cereal. In fact, she refused long enough that she missed the bus. We have a rule in our house that if you miss the bus and you miss it due to your own action (or inaction), you are grounded that evening.

No television.

No video games.

No friends.

No bicycle.

She did not particularly care for that evening, especially when her brother got to play with his DSI and she did not get to play with hers. In fact, though that evening was 8 days ago (last Tuesday), apparently it made a lasting impression on her.

Tonight, we ate soup & bbq at Rochester United Methodist Church. Brock offered to get Shaling a second bowl of soup and she said yes, but pinched her fingers together and said "little". He came back with a full bowl and she glared at him and huffed to show her disgust. He said he'd help her eat it. So, she took a little (very little), mostly picking out the biggest chunks of beef she could find. Brock ate some of it too, but not all of it. Therefore, about half a bowl of soup was still sitting there.

She indicated that Brock should eat it and he told her no. (In his defense, he's playing basketball tonight, so he didn't want to overeat)

She again indicated he should eat it and he again said no.

So she told him,

"Dad,"

"No TV"

"No DSI"

"No bicycle"

"No driver" (her way of saying he wasn't allowed to drive the car)

He asked her if he could play basketball and she told him no. He pouted and said, "please?"

She said,

"No."

"Shaling - please?" (and imitated herself pouting & pleading with him last Tuesday)

"Dad - No!"

"So, Shaling - No!"

I guess that's her way of saying what goes around comes around.