America vs. China

Once in awhile, someone asks Shaling if she likes America better or China better. During the first few weeks home, she didn't understand the question. I would feel a bit defensive on her behalf, and explain that I suspected she probably she still liked China better, though she was adapting far better than our expectations. I would tell them to imagine her experience as being similar to a kidnapping, as we brought her half-way around the world; taking her away from everything she knew: food, smells, landscape, etiquette, language, people that looked like her, rules, etc.

I think sometimes it's easy to romanticize and think that we were "saving" her by taking her away from the orphanage and giving her a home and family. The word orphanage I think provokes a connotation of a dreary place, in the sense of Miss Hannigan and Little Orphan Annie. In Shaling's case, the orphanage was a clean and lively place, filled with her friends. She was exceptionally close to a couple of the caregivers, referring to them as her "Chinese Mom" and "Chinese Dad" or even her "really big sisters" or "really big brothers". I don't think she was unhappy at all.

That being said, as an orphan in China, her life options (education, jobs, marriage, etc.) would have been severely limited. In the end, coming to America and having a family and unlimited educational opportunies is definitely a good thing. I'm just not sure how realistic it is to expect a 9-year-old to comprehend that idea when she's leaving so many loved ones and "normalcy" (for her) behind.

When her English became good enough that she understood the "America vs China" question she replied, "China". I think often the question-asker was a bit startled and looked to me to see if I was hurt at all by the response. The truth is,
NOT

AT

ALL

She lived in China for 9+ years. She's lived in America for 4.5 months. She is happy; she has bonded with us; she is a blessing; she makes our family feel complete. I also know that she truly likes America even if she still feels that her heart is in her homeland.

Well, this week, for some reason, Brock asked her if she liked America or China better. For the first time, she said America. She also followed that up with telling us that Guanghui (one of her "big brothers" from the orphanage that recently arrived in Rochester) likes America too. The truth is, I expected it to take longer than this for her answer to change (and was prepared for the idea that it might never change). I also suspect that the next time she gets in trouble at home, China will suddenly be the preferred country of residence again. All of that being said, it is a cool feeling to know that America has obtained a large portion of her heart.

I do have one unrelated picture to share. On Tuesday, she saw Brock mowing the lawn and enthusiastically demanded asked to learn how to do it. I took a picture, because I thought it looked a bit funny. Since a mower CAN be dangerous and she's still so young, after he taught her what to do, he didn't just let her go. He stayed walking close behind. However, it appeared more like he was breaking child labor laws.