Starting to Open Up About Life in China

Though I'm crazy with curiousity about Shaling's years of life B.F. (before family), I have been careful not to prod or push her to talk about it, especially since there is still a minor language barrier that appears when attempting to discuss anything deeply emotional or complex. However, I've been pleased to have her start showing signs of WANTING to share that life with me.

The first signs were the day she chose to let me know that she didn't know her birthmother. You may remember that from a September blog post, I Don't Know Whose Baby I Was. Considering she was found when she was roughly six weeks old, I was already aware of this, but she didn't know I knew. I was very touched that she felt it important to let me know that.

She has also shared a few rather casual pieces of information, such as the fact that her homework load in China was much bigger. She has indicated that she did some sewing in China. At her birthday party this week, she told me that she didn't roller skate in China, "nobody teach me."

She recently shared something a bit less casual with me. Shaling has a good-sized lesion on the back of her head. We discovered it shortly after arriving home. Due to

jet lag

being a new mother (at least to her)

sleep deprivation

my medical ignorance, I was concerned because I didn't know what it was. I asked the school nurse to please take a look at it and give me some feedback. She told me it was just a lesion in the skin and that it had obviously been there a long time. She assured me that I needn't be concerned.

Well, on Wednesday, Shaling shared with me that when she was a baby, someone dropped her on her head. She touched her head where the lesion is and told me that it was caused by that fall. Now, she didn't share with me who dropped her or how she knows, but I'm assuming that it was a caregiver at the old folks home where she lived until she was 2 1/2 and that one of her other caregivers told her about it. Of course, it's also entirely possible that a caregiver is assuming that is how she got the bump and simply told her that someone must have dropped her. Perhaps she had the bump before she was abandoned. However, she seemed a bit sobered by the idea that someone had dropped her. I shared with her that someone dropped me when I was a baby too. She asked me if I had a bump. I told her no, but that I was dropped.

On a more fun note, on Thursday she told me that she knew how to sing "Merry Christmas" in Chinese. She then asked me if I wanted to hear it. I told her no.

Just.
Kidding.

Of course I wanted to hear it! She then launched into singing to the tune of "Jingle Bells" with Mandarin words. She paused at one point, saying (in English), "I can't remember....oh, yeah", then continued on with the song. It was really cute. Hopefully I can get her to sing it again sometime, but in front of the video camera.