More Pictures

Shaling should get her second package sometime late this week. They had to select a different bag for her, because the one I chose was out of stock. The picture below is of the contents. This Monday through Wednesday is a big celebration across China, called the "Dragon Boat Festival". Most people worked through this weekend (both Saturday AND Sunday) in order to have all three days off with their families.



Shaling received her cake that we had ordered for her at the end of April. The pictures below are of her receiving it, cutting it, and sharing it with her housemates. Notice in the latter pictures that she has the books she would have received with the first care package.

New Care Package & Lost Form

I had planned all along to send Shaling another care package and to send it through a different service; this time through a woman named Ann at Red Thread. I found out recently that Ann was able to successfully get the orphanage staff to answer 19 questions about another child being adopted (the adopting family had asked her to pass the questions along to the staff when they sent their package).

I was excited by this, since we have not yet heard back from Shaling from the package we sent in April. So, I came up with 15 questions to send myself. I then ordered a doll set, a jade heart-shaped pendant with the Chinese symbol for love, and a bag for Shaling to keep her personal belongings in (pictures of all below).







I received a message back from Ann that she received my order and payment, but that she was afraid I had too many questions, because another family just asked so many questions. She didn't want to overwhelm the orphanage staff. So, I pared the list down to 10 questions. I haven't yet heard back from her if she wants me to pare it down any further.

On another front, I received in the mail yesterday a package from my adoption agency. It was the forms I had sent in, thinking they were ready for the dossier because they were both notarized and certified by the Secretary of State. For those who've been following that debacle, that is when the agency called me and I found out that I was missing part of my New Client Packet -- the part that told me to also get the forms authenticated by the Chinese Consulate. So, my agency sent them back to me.

Unfortunately, one of the forms, the Certificate of Financial Status, was missing. I've called them and they can't locate it either. I can only guess that one of us left it stuck in the envelope we received. Luckily it's a form that is fairly easy to recreate, but now I have to get it notarized and walked over the Secretary of State for certification all over again.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that adoption is easier than pregnancy. I've got experience with both and even with acute morning sickness, heartburn and exhaustion, the pregnancy is MUCH easier. GETTING pregnant on the other hand....

Not Losing My Mind (At Least Not Today)

I’ve received words of encouragement from a few loved ones in regards to last Tuesday’s blog entry, “Another Missed Step”. The step I missed was that in addition to getting my forms for my dossier notarized and certified by the Secretary of State, I also have to get them authenticated by the Chinese Consulate. In sharing my frustration over discovering this step, I may have misled some to think that I caused us a delay.

In fact, I did not cause a delay. I was working ahead of time on a future step (sending the dossier to China). I cannot take that step yet, because I’m still waiting on DCFS approval of the home study (which needs to be included in the dossier). In fact, the dossier also has to include approval from U.S. Citizenship & Immigration. I cannot apply for that approval yet either, because it also requires the home study to be complete.

My frustration was in realizing that obtaining the authentication from the consulate was going to add yet more time to our process.

After talking to another representative at my adoption agency, we came to the conclusion that the instructions for getting my forms authenticated by the consulate were not included in my packet. For some reason, that part of the packet they send out was missing from not only my packet, but several other client packets as well. She emailed me the information I need today. The plus to that is that I felt better knowing I wasn’t losing my mind.

Timeline Clarification

I don't think I can clarify the timeline we're on often enough (for myself, let alone our many supportive family members and friends).

From what I can gather from the various parents I interact with on my Yahoo groups, this is a rough estimate of the various steps we have left:

We're expecting final Home Study approval from DCFS in mid-July.

After that, we will apply to USCIS for approval to adopt an international child. This will take 1 to 2 months.

Then, we will send in our dossier to China and wait for an LID (Log In Date -- notification they've received it). This takes 1 to 2 weeks.

Next, we will await a Letter of Approval from China. This takes 7 to 10 weeks.

Next, we apply to USCIS for approval to classify Shaling as an immediate family member. This takes 2 to 4 weeks.

We also apply for Shaling to get a visa. The U.S. consulate in Guanghzhou will issue something called an Article 5, which states she is eligible to receive a visa. This takes 2 to 4 weeks.

We will need Travel Approval from China. This takes 2 to 4 weeks.

We will then travel 2 to 4 weeks after receiving the travel approval.

As you can see, we still have a LOT of hoops to get through, but most of them are on timelines out of our control. That is perhaps the most difficult part of the entire process. I am now set on thinking that we will be traveling to get Shaling over the holidays (either Thanksgiving or Christmas).

Trio of Trouble

While talking to other parents who are adopting or have adopted from China, I’ve heard some exasperating tales of woe.

One woman shared that she had called the state where she got married to order a copy of her marriage certificate, but what she received in the mail was a birth certificate – and she was NOT born in that state.

Another family has hit a ridiculous brick wall. They have a child that was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome over a decade ago. As a family, they went to counseling to learn how best to deal with it. Their Home Study agency is insisting on copies of those records, but the office where the counseling took place cannot locate them. They also are refusing to write a letter stating that they cannot locate them.

The latest story involves a family much further along in the process than us. Their dossier was at the Chinese embassy in Washington awaiting a stamp of approval so that it could be sent to China. It was rejected because it included wording that a previous child had been adopted from Taiwan. China does not recognize Taiwan as a country. That portion of the home study had to be rewritten re-notarized, re-authenticated by the Secretary of State, re-authenticated by the Chinese Consulate, re-reviewed by USCIS, and then sent back to the Embassy.

Normally, that sort of change would involve a whole slew of new fees, including a $340 fee to USCIS (as well as a new form, requesting a change). Fortunately, this family was able to get that waived.

I never cease to be amazed at how cumbersome this process can be. As I've said before, background checks and the like are definitely necessary, but the amount of paperwork (and duplicate paperwork) required is ridiculously much. I'm convinced it causes an untold number of children NOT to be adopted that otherwise would be, just because families become unwilling to go through the headaches and uphill climbs.

Bai Jia Bei

Today's blog entry is an email, posted verbatim, that I'm sending out to our family today:

Hello all,

Our adoption process is going well, but we have a long ways to go. The rest of the process is filled with periods of time where we have to wait for responses from governmental agencies before proceeding to the next step, etc. In the mean time, I’ve joined some internet groups that are made up of other people adopting from China. I’ve learned a lot of good information from these groups.

The latest interesting nugget of information is about something called “Bai Jia Bei”, or a 100 Good Wishes Quilt. This tradition comes from the northern part of China and involves friends and family members contributing patches of cloth and good wishes to the newest member of the family. Part of the cloth goes towards making a quilt for the child, while the other part, combined with the good wishes, goes towards a scrapbook. The quilt is believed to contain luck, energy, and the good wishes. It is then passed down from generation to generation.

I do NOT quilt, nor do I scrapbook, but yet I’m going to take a stab at this project. Shaling is from the southern part of China, but will not have a baby book, nor even baby pictures, EVER in her life. I think this project would be a lovely substitute that would be a lasting reminder that she is loved. It is my intention to pay someone to do the sewing that finishes up the quilt, but I will put the scrapbook together, as I have friends who are scrapbookers and think I can get advice with that part.

If you would like to be involved in this project, here’s how to do it:

1. Choose any 100% cotton fabric that you like. It can be from old clothing or new from a fabric store. It could be a bit of fabric that you've used to create something else wonderful for another member of the family, or it could represent something meaningful about you. For example, if my Grandma Bloomfield were still alive, perhaps a scrap of cloth with a nursing emblem, or from my Great Aunt Annie, one with a Doberman Pinscher. From my Grandma & Grandpa Barkley, it could have been one with flowers or a deck of cards. From Brock’s Grandpa Devall, perhaps a military insignia and from his Grandma & Grandpa Reynolds, perhaps something that represented agriculture. Or, the fabric could be related to your wish. Please don’t feel obligated to run out to buy new material, as in China, these quilts were originally made from old garments of family and friends, so the child could be surrounded by them.

2. Prewash the fabric so it shrinks and is clean; then iron it so that it is straight enough for cutting. Cut one 8X8 square from the fabric. Also, cut a scrap piece of that same fabric that you can attach to your wish card.

3. Write a "good wish note" on any size of index card (or construction paper) and attach the scrap piece of fabric. The wish can be your own words or thoughts, a favorite poem or quote, a blessing for Shaling, a prayer, a favorite verse, or anything else you would like her to know. Keep in mind that she will read your note numerous times during her life. If you feel creative and want to decorate it, that would be great too. It can be as simple or elaborate as you like. If you would like, you can also include a picture of yourself so she can see who sent the wish.

4. Please drop me an email or give me a call to let me know you’re participating and also how many squares (perhaps you want to contribute one square as a household, or perhaps you each want to do your own personal square).

Please feel free to share this with family members not on our email list (Mom, please have Dad print this out to share with Grandma Coonrod & Aunt Donna; Darlene, please share with Uncle Bob, Aunt Betty, & Aunt Sandee; Nancy, please share with Annabelle). Thanks for taking time from your busy schedules to help us create this special keepsake. We hope Shaling will cherish it her entire life.

Thank you!!

Love,

Brock, Amy, & Preston

Another Missed Step

So, today I got a call from our adoption agency informing me that I'd missed another step. It's amazing how many steps have duplicate names, making it easy to miss them.

Most of the forms we will need for our dossier for China have to be notarized and then later authenticated by the Secretary of State. I found out today that they also have to be authenticated by the Chinese Consulate in China.

The fee per document for state certification is $2 in Illinois and $5 in Minnesota (Brock's birth certificate). The fee per document for consulate authentication is $20 or $40, depending on how quickly we want the forms back.

There are 13 documents total that this applies to (inter-country adoption application letter, home study report, 2 birth certificates, marriage certificate, 2 medical examinations, certificate of financial status, 2 police clearance letters, 2 employment verification letters, and U.S. Citizen & Immigration Services approval letter).

I have all of them but the home study report, the USCIS approval, and Brock's birth certificate (we went it to Minnesota for the certification late last week and should be getting it back soon). I'll be sending all but the home study report and the USCIS approval in to the consulate as soon as possible and select the $20 option. As soon as we get the home study report (mid-July????) I'll send it in at the $20 option as well, plus I'll then send off our request for USCIS approval. Once we get USCIS approval, I'll send that in at the $40 option in order to continue our process quickly.

Through my phone conversation, I also discovered that for families from Illinois who are adopting from China, our completed dossier has to be signed off on by the Secretary of State before it can be submitted to China. This step adds about 6-8 weeks. I'm sitting here quite discouraged right now as I realize we'll be lucky if we get Shaling home before Christmas. I'm wondering why our informational paperwork gave us an initial estimate of 6-8 months.