I just finished my second book report. It was on the book, Cross-Cultural Adoption, by Amy Coughlin & Caryn Abramowitz. I borrowed it from my friends Seth & Sarah, who have already been though a multi-cultural adoption.
The book had great information about preparing the extended family for the adoption, especially younger members of the family. There was also a "Cliff Notes" version of the history and culture of China.
One paragraph that really stood out to me was encouraging us to treat Shaling "like any other kid." When she first gets home, we will be tempted to treat her as special to try and make-up for lost time. That is strongly discouraged.
From the book:
"It may be difficult and take a long time for adopted children to feel like they belong within their families. Often, treating these children like they're "nothing special" can go a long way toward making them feel at home and comfortable within the group. Avoid the temptation to spoil her because she didn't have everything that the other kids had in the first months or years of her life. (Grandma and Grandpa, we're talking to you here.) That means the rules and privileges apply to everyone equally: just like her sisters, brothers, and cousins, she doesn't get a cookie until she finishes her dinner; it's lights out promptly after two (okay, maybe three) bedtime stories; "please" and "thank you" must be said; and "no" means "no". Garden-variety expressions of affection and gentle discipline help a child feel safe and loved."
That makes so much sense, but I can imagine it will not be an easy challenge!
This blog began as a place to share Shaling's journey from rice in China to popcorn in Illinois. However, it has evolved to include all sorts of happenings in the Reynolds family.
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