Humor from another adoptive mom

As I've been going over my travel notes and following other families' adventures, I got a kick out of this humorously written list from a fellow adopting family:

I don't care how prepared you are for your adoption once you get your travel approval, things fall apart. The weeks and months you sat waiting for the paperwork to get done, thinking "Ha! I can travel at a moments notice since I've got it all done!" is a load of hughey.

Things I forgot about:

1) Train husband to do all the stuff I do automatically every morning - empty trash, collect recycling, clean up cat vomit, feed kids, do all the dishes that mysteriously appear after they have done their own dishes, clean cat litter, empty garbage cans around house, pay bills, make the beds that are "already made", clean the cat litter, stop kids from fighting, stop cats from fighting, clean the cat litter (repeat).

2) Assist son and daughter (special needs kiddos) to the toilet, get son and daughter off the toilet, clean up the floor, repeat 5x next 3 hrs

3) Ensure enough cat food, cat litter, newspaper available while gone. Train someone to clean the cat litter 18x/day. Explain consequences of not doing so. Explain again. And again....and again.

4) Pack. Repack. Get rid of all clothes as the suitcase is full of gifts.

5) Buy gifts. This cannot be done in one day. Or even two days. This takes about one solid week of going into town, searching the stores, buying school supplies while you are there, spot some gifts on the other side of the store, relocate children, get gifts, go back to groceries, refind children. Repeat Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. And the following Monday.

6) Sweat getting orphanage donation in cash because your bank is in Virginia and you live in Michigan. Wire transfer every penny you can get your hands on. Discover how nice the ladies at the credit union are in town when they find out you are going to China to adopt again (even with 7 kids at home). Enjoy bank cheering section when you finally collect all your $100 bills.

7) Make a list of all the stuff you need to do when you get home - vaccinations, dentist, insurance, military ID cards, school uniforms - remember it all needs to be done while jet lagged, totally broke and while wading your way through a months worth of cat droppings, spilled cat food, pizza crusts on the rug and no clean underwear anywhere within a 5 mile radius.

8) Laugh like a mad women when you read your adoption agencies travel packet and the first words on it are "Flexibilty, flexibility, flexibility". If you can't bend over backwards and touch your toes, do the dishes, yell at the kids to stop hitting each other, talk on the phone about travel arrangements, and pack all at the same time - only to be told you have to redo it all because something went wrong - then you shouldn't be doing this in the first place.

10) Remind myself - when I'm an old granny at the grocery store and I see a young mother with a cranky toddler, I can proudly smile and say "I raised 9 kids I know what you are going through", while secretly thinking "boy, does SHE have it easy!"

Raising kids. It's not a sacrifice. I'm not a saint. We aren't nuts. It's a whiplash, mind spinning, gut churning ride through life that doesn't end until the last glass of champagne is drunk at my funeral.

I'm just in it for the adventure.